Crackballs!

Steph here. And no, I'm not a) on drugs, b) advocating violence against spherical sporting equipment or c) channeling Dr. Horrible. This is a recipe that Am & I were discussing last night and I thought "hey, I should totally post this". So I'm totally posting it.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have no idea who actually created these little marvels of culinary sinfulness. I wish I did; I'd find them and kiss them on the lips. So maybe it's better for all concerned that I don't know... Anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah. "Crackballs" isn't the official name for these tasty treats. I think they're actually called Oreo Truffles, but I rarely call anything by its proper name, and the first time I ever made them, my husband took one bite and proclaimed them to be little balls of crack, and the name stuck. Mostly because I love the look I get when telling complete strangers about them. What can I say; I have a bit of an evil streak. Let's just say I come by it honestly. :)

What's that? Oh, right. "Get on with it." Can do. Here's the recipe:

Crackballs
1 pkg Oreos, crushed into oblivion (ideally with a food processor but if you've got some rage you need to work out...)
1 (8oz) block cream cheese, softened
1 bag Wilton CandyMelts (or whatever brand you prefer; this is just what I have easy access to)

The first thing to note is that you can mix the filling by hand, but I find that a hand mixer results in a smoother, more velvety texture. And you don't have to deal with digging filling out from under your fingernails. That being said, here are the directions. Make sure you print this or write these down or something; it gets uber complicated. (By the way, I also have a bit of a sarcastic streak. Hard to tell, I'm sure.)

1) Beat the cream cheese into submission.
2) Add crushed Oreos and mix until well-blended. If you're using an electric mixer, it might seem like your beaters are gonna get gunked up, but they won't. It'll be ok, honest.
3) Roll spoonfulls of the filling into balls. Make them as big or small as you want, just know that they're rather rich. I try to keep them small enough that you can eat them in one bite, two bites max. But that's just me; I tend to stuff them in my face and if I make them any bigger than two bites, things could get ugly.
4) Place the balls o' filling onto a plate/cookie sheet/whatever you have that's flat and will fit in your fridge. Chill in the refrigerator for anywhere from 30 minutes to overnight.
5) Melt the Candy Melts per package directions. Dip the crackballs into the chocolate and place onto a plate/cookie sheet/counter/whatever lined with parchment paper (the parchment paper is important; I learned that one the hard way...). Let them set for a while. Now, the warmer your house, the longer this process will take. Resist the urge to throw them back into the fridge. It doesn't affect the flavor, but it can make the chocolate look a little weird. Once they're set, drizzle with a contrasting color if you so desire, then take a picture because they'll be gone so fast that you won't be sure if you actually made them.

One of the gorgeous things about this recipe besides it being "stupid easy, y'all", to quote Kitchen Queen Paula Deen, is that you can get creative with them. They're beyond wonderful just as-is, but you can add a little of your favorite extract or liquor to the cream cheese for something different. Just don't add too much or it'll screw up the consistency of the filling and trying to make them retain anything even vaguely reminiscent of a ball-like shape will be a total pain in the ass, as will dipping them. Again, something I learned the hard way. If you do end up with swampy filling, just add more Oreos. I've found that stronger extracts like orange and peppermint do very well in this recipe because you don't need very much to get a nice flavor going.

Oh, one last tip (learned the hard way, of course): If you share your domicile with one or more human males, I strongly recommend that you squirrel a few of these away for yourself. Or use a flavoring that only you like. It might be the only way you get to eat any.

Enjoy!! :)

In Praise of Heirloom Tomatoes

I spent the early morning hours at the local farmer's market where, in addition to some other amazing food finds, I happened upon some yellow heirloom tomatoes that were ripe and lovely. When I got them home I remembered the heirloom tomato bruscetta from the movie Julie and Julia. I googled the recipe and the instructions included brushing the bread with olive oil and then toasting them in the oven. I remembered in the movie that the Julie character fried them in butter in a cast iron skillet (then because I have a little of the OCD I re-viewed that portion of the movie to double check). So after I made my homemade from scratch raspberry jam and got that canned and put away; I hacked up some tomatoes added kosher salt and some coarsly ground black pepper and let them sit for the afternoon while I finished knitting part of the cardigan I'm working on. (I know, I sound like Martha Freakin' Stewart here, but really, no. Were I Martha Almighty I'd have also painted my kitchen, fed some Bosnian orphans, handcrafted my own shoes from leather I'd tanned myself - or had my staff of gay minions tan- and looked fabu while I was at it).

So five-ish I cut my ciabatta loaf (bought fresh this morning from the Mill Pond Bakery of Chelsea, MI at the Farmer's Market) into some slices, smeared on some room temp butter and "toasted" them in my cast iron skillet. Once they were brown, crispy and buttery on both sides I rubbed one side with a fresh clove of garlic and spooned my tomatoes on top. Oh my Goddess! That was GOOD! I can admit here that I had tomato juice running down my arm, and I was trying to lick it off. Henceforth I will only make my bruscetta with butter in a cast iron skillet. You HAVE to try this!!!!!!!

Now I'm off to have a cup of Lobster Butter Love from Roo's Roasts of Ann Arbor. Happy tummy, happy tastebuds.

Sue's Request

Amber here. My friend Sue, who is our first (but hopefully not last follower), asked for this recipe. I made it for her a couple of days ago since she's a vegetarian and honestly, it's one of maybe three vegetarian things I know how to make, or will eat. My Mom got the recipe for these while she was in China about 20 years ago and we all love it. My Dad used to claim she was trying to kill him because she liked it so spicy, but you can control how spicy it is by how much of the garlic chili paste you use. Oh, and beware, although it's often better the second or third day it also gets spicier.

Dan Dan Noodles
1 pound spaghetti (I like the thick spaghetti, my Mom makes it with Angel Hair)
fresh cilantro
fresh green onions/scallions sliced
1 cup soy sauce
2 - 3 Tbsp sugar
1/4 cup rice wine vinegar
2-5 Tbsp sesame oil
2 - 6 Tbsp garlic chili paste
fresh garlic minced fine
fresh ginger peeled and finely minced

Cook the pasta. While the water is boiling mix together the soy, sugar, vinegar, sesame oil, garlic chili paste, garlic and ginger together to taste. It should be spicy but you can control that by how much garlic chili paste you use. Slice the scallions, use the whites in the sauce, reserve the greens and sprinkle them on after everything is mixed together. Drain the pasta, and dump the sauce over and mix together completely. It's ok if some of the sauce pools in the bottom of the bowl, eventually as the pasta cools it will soak it all up. Once the pasta is room temperature mix in the cilantro (tear it into small pieces), and sprinkle on the sliced scallion greens.

You can mix in some toasted sesame seeds too if you want. Serve at room temperature.

It's pretty healthy, AND it doesn't require mayonaise, butter or bacon fat!